MAIN POST: 3/8/10

I think the readings for tomorrow’s class were very valuable in helping us realize of the negative effects of the taboo nature of sex.  The fact that we are unwilling to openly talk about sex limits education and awareness of a very common practice.  During the process of growing up, we learn most of what we do from watching the actions, hearing the words, and observing the behavior of others.  Toddlers have constant attention and direction from experienced individuals when learning how to walk.  While we certainly needed to fall down a few times in order to learn how to walk, becoming comfortable with daily habits would be much more difficult if we did not have the help and guidance of those around us.

On the subject of sex, however, we experience very minimal if not even a complete lack of education, guidance, and direction aimed to make us more comfortable and understanding of exactly what is going on and what we should do.  Therefore, the subject of sex is kept as a sort of thing were not necessarily supposed to learn about.  While some teens do definitely talk openly with their parents about sex, it is much more common for these conversations to be considered awkward and undesirable for everyone involved.  Therefore, since sex is taboo in many conversations it also carries a stigma in practice. 

Since sex is a practice that most everyone participates in at some point during their life, people would generally benefit if it were acknowledged as the natural event it is.  According to Rebecca Walker in her article on the importance of an understanding of and comfort with personal sexual desires, “the way we experience, speak about and envision sex and sexuality can either kill us or help us to know and protect ourselves better,” (Walker, 19).  Walker argues that the way we understand and learn about sex is absolutely crucial in the success of our own development.  She believes that sex can open doors, empower us as individuals, give us feelings we have never felt, educate us about ourselves, and it can even define us.  Said differently, an understanding of sex, and how it relates to us, can be absolutely crucial in the development of our own identity.

Walker also acknowledges, however, that generalized discussions on the subject of sex do very little to educate us on our own sexual desires and sexual definition.  She mentions that she learned a lot more about herself from her own sexual endeavors than from what her friends told of their own.  Therefore, an openness of sexual discussion itself does educate people to some extent, making them more comfortable in their own sexual endeavors.  However, Walker notes that “each person comes into her own sexual power through a different route and at her or his own pace,” (Walker, 23).  According to Walker, this openness (un)fortunately does not serve to create complete comfort and understanding for everyone on a personal level. Therefore, what is more beneficial and effective in this openness is its secondary and less obvious function of making sex less taboo and more acceptable in society.  This more candid and outspoken approach toward sex therefore establishes sex as a practice in which most everyone in society naturally practices and becomes comfortable with over time and is therefore, not something to avoid or to be ashamed of.

Patricia Hill Collins also addresses the importance of an open attitude towards personal sexual preferences and habits.  She argues that all too often, we label groups-specifically African Americans-as wild sexual beings and part of this labeling originates from the lack of discussion on the topic.  These labels of African Americans as sexual beasts originated a very long time ago, but were perpetuated through time to protect and ensure white male patriarchy.  African American men were depicted as “violent,” “untamed,” and “dangerous,” in order to create an image of them as “animalistic” and therefore, unfit for mainstream society (Walker, 27).  These generalized stereotypes stem from people’s ignorance of the fact that sexual pleasure and desire is very different for each individual. 

Further, with the growing appearance of explicit sexual behavior in music videos, tv shows, music lyrics etc. stereotypes of African Americans as hypersexual and sexually graphic individuals are perpetuated.  Obviously, these entertainment forms are not unique to African Americans (ie Eminem and Frank Sinatra as Collins mentions). However, these images of rappers in aggressively sexual circumstances occur all too often in our culture not to cause some people to believe stereotypes and create general perceptions of entire groups.  We must, however, maintain the critical awareness that sexuality is an individually understood and personally practiced experience that cannot be generalized in connection with any one age range, gender, race, or group of people.

Collins’ article also brought to question, as have so many of the articles we have read this semester, the strength and power of societal constructions in creating arrogant generalizations that damage the objects of these presumptuous labels.  The labels of the 19^th century of “’White heroes’ of western Europe and ‘Black beasts’ of Africa,…were used to signal the hierarchical relationship between colonizers and colonies,” have, without question, stuck in some aspects of life today. Further, in perpetuating these old, inaccurate, and phony generalizations, we create “polarized world populations,” (Collins, 33).  Rather than erasing the barrier between populations, we are actually widening it making reconciliation and understanding between polarized groups increasingly difficult.  Is it those dominant in society-in this case white men-who are to blame for the perpetuation of artificial stereotypes and generalizations?  Or do the groups involved take their own understanding of how others perceive them and internalize these labels, thereby becoming what they are “expected” or “supposed” to become?

Collins’ article contains too much valuable information to discuss it all, but her ideas on the need for an awareness of the balance between race, culture, and sexual expression are echoed by Sonia Shah in her article on managing and reconciling her Indian heritage with her American upbringing.  Upon going to college, Sonia Shah adjusted and defined her own sexual feelings as very different from how she had felt during high school.  When she went home to her family, however, she was unable to articulate her beliefs and personal understanding to them.  Further, her younger sister, also exploring her sexual impulses and desires, had her own opinions of appropriate sexual behavior and impulses.  She, too, had trouble obtaining the understanding and respect she wanted from her family. 

For these two girls, their American upbringing and their Indian heritage called for two very different approaches towards sexuality.  For their Indian mother, it was almost “profane” to think about her daughter having sex (Shah, 225).  For Sonia’s sister, it was impossible to express her sexual desires without offending her parents.  Said in Sonia’s words, they two girls had to “deal with [their] sexuality in the context of both white patriarchy and Indian patriarchy,” (Shah, 227).  According to Indian culture, young girls were “obedient,” and didn’t “have sex before marriage,” (Shah, 227).  In order to reconcile the differences between their heritage and upbringing, these girls had to realize that they could simultaneously recognize and identify themselves with both cultures.  They did not have to abandon one or the other culture in order to please themselves or their parents. 

Instead, they were able to simultaneously act out both, thereby depicting a more accurate image of who they really are.  In reference to her sister’s identity and expression, Sonia mentions that is “uniquely hers,” (Shah, 228).  In other words, we must always remember that personal expression-of sexual impulses or other wise-is entirely individual and uniquely formed.  Therefore, we must never expect any feelings or behavior from one specific group as these impulses really vary for every individual.  How do we, however, abandon these constructions that have lasted for centuries on end?  How do we come to acknowledge the fact that sex is something to be personally explored as an individual experience and understanding?  And finally, how do we create the sort of comfort around the topic of sex that is necessary in order to truly foster these explorations necessary in the formation of our own identity?