While my first reaction to Paula Ettelbrick was one of disagreement and annoyance, I quickly saw that her critique is not so much about lesbian and gay marriage as it is about the institution of marriage in general. Ettelbrick's article is particularly appropriate and timely, considering that April is sexual assault awareness month and Take Back the Night was held yesterday on our campus. As she so aptly points out, marriage is not something to be placed on a pedestal; in fact, marriage often represents the ultimate symbol of patriarchy.
Take Back the Night was an incredible, moving experience and it chills me to know the probability that I too will become a victim. It was not until I read Ettlebrick article, however, that I made the connection between domestic violence and marriage. Obviously you need marriage to have domestic violence, yet instead of thinking of this abuse as an individual, situational problem, blame should perhaps more appropriately be placed on the idea of marriage to begin with (that women are the property of men). The same fundamental goals that Ettelbrick discusses are exactly the ones I desire as well; however, being in the position of 'privileged' hereronormativity, never did I think to criticize the system which I will so easily fit into.
Ultimately, I think Ettelbrick brings up points that the majority of the population simply do not want to hear. The thought of overhauling the entire notion of marriage is overwhelming, if not scary. Whether you're lesbian, gay, or heterosexual, after coming off of a night of sexual abuse statistics and stories, the only logical conclusion is that something is not working. That thing might indeed be the idea of marriage.
No comments:
Post a Comment