Throughout history, the role of women in marriage has changed dramatically. Historically, marriage in American society has had clearly defined gender roles. The husband has traditionally held the role of the breadwinner, while the wife was the caregiver. Marriage for women was seen as the surest route to financial security for women (NY Times, 2010). However, according to a new analysis of census data from Pew Research Center, research is revealing trends that Americans are moving away from patriarchal marriages and, in current times, it is men who are increasingly getting the biggest financial boost (NY Times, 2010). The term, “The Rise of Wives” has been introduced to indicate an increasingly common shift in gender roles where women are better educated and bigger wage earners than their husbands. The role of women in marriage has changed significantly over time due to the influence of feminist movements and positive outcomes have arisen.
The article reveals that in the marriage realm there has been a gender role reversal. The changes reflect the increase of working wives, which have contributed to changes in both the spousal characteristics and the economic benefits of marriage (NY Times, 2010). Historically when wives did not work, “marriage penalized guys with more mouths to feed but no extra income” (CBS, 2010). Now most wives work, making the economics of marriage much more beneficial. Data indicates from 1970 and 2007 that American women outpaced men in both education and earnings growth. More women than men today have college degrees. Also, women's earnings grew 44% from 1970 to 2007, compared with 6% for men (CBS, 2010). The “breadwinner” status of women is up 7% since 1970. Even though men, on average, still make more, women's gains have narrowed the gap. Women no longer need to “marry up” but rather pick men “who support a more egalitarian relationship” (NY Times, 2010).
These gains that women have made in earnings and education are a notable reflection of a range of efforts to promote equal opportunities throughout history. For many years, marriage was seen as a fundamental site of women’s oppression, with married women having few independent rights in law (Feminism: Old Wave and New Wave, 1971). Women did “the shitwork and the men made the decisions” (Feminism: Old Wave and New Wave, 1971, pg 1). The first wave of the feminist movement began in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, focusing on gaining legal rights, political power and suffrage for women (Feminism: Old Wave and New Wave, 1971). Lucretia Mott and Elizabeth Cady Stanton fought for freedom and equality for women. They hosted a conference in Seneca Falls, NY which is considered to be the birth the American Women’s Suffrage Movement to address the issue of equality for all people including both slaves and women (Feminism: Old Wave and New Wave, 1971). They fought to allow women to vote in political elections and hold public office, helping women receive education and work in a chosen career outside of the home, and having women treated fairly and with respect both in and out of the home (Declaration of Sentiments and Resolutions, 1848). In 1920, the 19th amendment to the Constitution of the United States was ratified which granted women the right to vote.
As a result of the Suffrage Movement, gains in equality for women were made. In addition, during World War II, women’s roles were drastically changed due to the need to support the economy of the war effort. When many men went to war creating a shortage of labor in the factories, women entered the workforce in unprecedented numbers, changing their role in society and strengthening the nation (Feminism: Old Wave and New Wave, 1971). However, when the war was over, both men and women were expected to return to their traditional pre-war roles in society. The husband’s role in marriage was to go out into the world: to provide financial stability, to be the achiever. The wife devoted the majority of her time to caring for the home and for the children (Friedan, 1963). It was a common belief that the husband, acting as head of the household, should have more power than his wife to make key decisions. This was the ideal society as reflected by television shows like “Leave It to Beaver” in the 1950s.
Many women were not satisfied returning to their roles as dominated by traditional thinking (Friedan, 1963). This led to the rise of second wave of feminism in the 1960s and 1970s (Echols). Women finally had equal rights as men, such as the right to vote, and had come a long way since the beginning of the century. The role of women was finally up for debate and female activists began questioning “culturally received notions of femininity” (Echols, 27). They undertook a social rebellion against the constraints of tradition and against the traditional images of gender roles. Organizations such as National Organization for Women (NOW) were founded to address the new challenges of modern womanhood. Women sought to understand aspects of their own personal lives and seek personal fulfillment (Friedan, 1963). Were they defined by their husbands, children, and home, or by their own individuality? It was not so much about whether the feminine ideal was achievable, but whether it was something women even desired.
Friedan had discovered this growing discontent that many women couldn't quite explain. She writes:
“Some women, in their forties and fifties, still remembered painfully giving up those dreams, but most of the younger women no longer even thought about them. All they had to do was devote their lives from earliest girlhood to finding a husband and bearing children” (52).
Friedan discusses what she called “the problem that has no name” (53). She wrote, “the problem lay buried, unspoken, for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the 20th century in the United States” (53). The “suburban housewife” (55) who “was the dream image of the young American women,” (55) was struggling to find purpose in her life and was discovering that in reality, was not happy with this limited role. Friedan argued that is important to find an alternative, acknowledge what was going on, and find a sense of camaraderie between the women (Friedan, 1963). Friedan encouraged women to reach outside of marriage for fulfillment and to demand political rights and flood the job market (Manifesta, 2000, pg 153).
Helen Gurley Brown was another women to bring up the idea of marriage. She suggested that single women are badgered into marriage by a conservative, misogynist culture (Manifesta, 2000). She advocates a career girl and “made visible the emerging independent and sexual working woman” (153). Brown said women who “weren’t married didn’t have to face the indignity of being presumed to be damaged goods, a sexless spinster, or otherwise pitiful or invisible” (155). Liberation was the key for both Friedan and Brown, even though their routes differed.
The successes of feminist movements are indeed inarguable in terms of affecting modern-day marriages. The evidence shows that the shifts within marriages have had a positive effect in redefining the American family. It has contributed to lower divorce rates and happier unions (NY Times, 2010). This flexibility allows freedom for the husband and wife partners in economic and marriage growth. Stephanie Coontz agrees: “If it weren't for the gains of the women's movement, which have produced a steady equalization of women's wages and new incentives for women to get more education ... most families would have stagnated in their living standards even before the recession (CBS, 2010).”
As we progress in a society that claims to provide equal opportunity for men and women, it appears as if the doors are open for women at every gate. Tantaros explains that success for women has “evolved into a greater spectrum of what success means.” “We are more accepting as a society of the choices women make, and we are empowered by them” (Tantaros, pg 1). Women have come a long way since being viewed as second-class citizens to becoming the bread-winners of the household. Unlike the 1950s-60s, women have more negotiating power within the marriage and “can choose to have a family, a career, or both” (Tantaros, pg 1). In addition, feminism has also influenced the husband’s role within the family; it is now acceptable to be an “At-Home Dad.” Many husbands “no longer feel compelled to be their families' sole breadwinner and are embracing a bigger share of household responsibilities and child-raising” (NY Times, 2010). Before these feminist movements, that opportunity would have been rare, if even possible. However, there are still men who struggle with social expectation embedded in our society that the husband should be the breadwinner (CBS, 2010).
Today there are fewer clearly defined models for contemporary marriage gender roles. There seems to be “no typical families, no stereotype of a nuclear unit. Divorced parents, unwed mothers and adopting homosexuals have changed the portrait of parenthood” (Mcelroy, 1996, pg 102). Laura Levin explains the change in family and marriage in her essay “The Changing Role of the Family:”
“In 1950 only 18% of wives with children under eighteen were employed. By 1980 that figure had risen to 54%...While our traditional stereotype of the American Family has included an employed father and an unemployed mother...now only 12% of American households fit that model (Mcelroy, 1996, pg 102).”
Marriage remains a very powerful institution, its cultural significance ubiquitous and deeply ingrained. The rise of more mutual relationships in marriage has resulted in beneficial outcomes. As Elizabeth Cady Stanton once asserted, “There is one kind of marriage that has not been tried and that is a contract made by equal parties to lead an equal life, with equal restraints and privileges on either side. Thus far we have had man marriage and nothing more” (Treckel, 1995). Our society is gradually approaching this point, but there is still a long way to go. Some argue that full equality will never be achieved due to the inherent differences between men and women, yet others believe there is hope for change. It is important to be critical of the traditional notions of marriage and unspoken roles of husband and wife in order for our society to flourish.
Work Cited
Associated Press. "More Men Get Economic Boost from Marriage.” CBS. 19 January 2010.
Baumgardner, Jennifer, Amy Richards. Manifesta: young women, feminism, and the future. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2000.
Echols, Alice. "Prologue: The re-emergence of the 'Woman Question."
McElroy, Wendy. Sexual Correctness: The Gender-Feminist Attack on Women. North Carolina: McFarland & Company, 1996.
Modern History Sourcebook: The Declaration of Sentiments, Seneca Falls Conference, 1848.
NewsMax. 2009.
Parker-Pope, Tara. "She Works. They’re Happy.” NY Times. 22 January 2010.
Schneir, Miriam. Feminism in Our Time. New York: Random House, Inc, 1994.
Tantaros, Andrea. "Feminism Now Defined by Each and Every Woman."
Treckel, P. (1995). Forging the thunderbolts: Elizabeth Cady Stanton and American feminism. Gifts of Speech. Professor of History. Allegheny College., Chautauqua Institution: July 28, 1995.
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